My mother taught me

Okay, this is alll true. Really. Jamaican mothers DO say this stuff.

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait till we get home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You going get a ass'n when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE.
"What di backside yu thinkin'? Answer me when me talk to you...

Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.
"If yu run cross de road an' Kyar lick yu dung, a goin' kill yu wid lick."

5. My Mother taught me THE VALUE OF EDUCATION.
"If yu no go a school, yu a go tun tief or walk an' pick up bokkle."

6. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If yu kip on a tun over yu eye lid an' fly pitch pan it, it a go stay suh fi evva."

7. My Mother taught me ESP.
“Yu tink a don't know what yu up to, nuh?"

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR.
"If yu don' eat food, breeze goin' blow yu weh."

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT.
"Come an' tek yu beatin' like a man."

10. My Mother taught me about SEX.
"Yu tink say yu drop from sky?"
11. My Mother taught me about

My Mother taught me GENETICS.
"Yu jus' like yu faada."

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Yu tink mi come from "Back A Wall?"

13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE.
"When yu get to be as ol' as me, yu wil understan'."

14. And my all time favorite...JUSTICE.
"One day wen yu have pickney, a hope dem treat yu same way."