Renouncement

I came upon this poem yesterday. What a lovely poem it is! And many of us know this particular feeling. In college, I had this boyfriend....well, let's just say it was like Fleetwod Mac's "Over my head." It was just horrible. When I got engaged to my husband, I met a lovely fellow -- a blonde god and I never really liked blondes but wow!-- and developed this intense crush on him. Luckily I was sane enough to see that whatever emotion I felt just wasn't enough. The guy was a bit of a loon and we argued over everything. He was not really pleased when I decided to go on with my marriage.

I don't know if those two examples were true renouncement, though. A true renouncement, like a true sacrifice, is about giving up what you really like and love and need...for a higher truer cause. People use the word "sacrifice" way too loosely nowadays. Sacrificing going to movies in order to buy a car? Nope. That's not sacrifice.

Anyway, check out the poem. It's lovely, lovely.

Renouncement by Alice Meynell. b. 1850

I MUST not think of thee; and, tired yet strong,
I shun the love that lurks in all delight—
The love of thee—and in the blue heaven's height,
And in the dearest passage of a song.
Oh, just beyond the sweetest thoughts that throng
This breast, the thought of thee waits hidden yet bright;
But it must never, never come in sight;
I must stop short of thee the whole day long.
But when sleep comes to close each difficult day,
When night gives pause to the long watch I keep,
And all my bonds I needs must loose apart,
Must doff my will as raiment laid away,—
With the first dream that comes with the first sleep
I run, I run, I am gather'd to thy heart.