Okay, so there I was in bed praying for younger son and my mind starts wandering. I always believe it's a good thing for the mind to wander in prayer. That is often how Holy Spirit talks to us...by leading our minds to something.
So there I am praying away and affirming the word and praying in the spirit when suddenly someone I truly dislike appears SMASH in my mind. I truly dislike this girl. She has caused me a great deal of grief because she has a big mouth that always says what she thinks and I am very quiet. This kind of friendship is often dangerous because the talkative judgmental person talks and talks and is utterly unaware that her quiet friend is hurt and angry. So, for future reference, if you are a black woman with a big mouth and you have a quiet easygoing friend, never assume she isn't mad at you...even if she says so. Also, if you are a quiet person, for future reference, never befriend a talkative person who says everything that comes to her head. It might not work out.
So I say to God, "Lord, you have to be kidding! Why are you bringing this woman to my mind? I haven't seen her in about three years! I haven't thought about her in years! Do I have to forgive her? Do I have to pray for her?" NONE OF WHICH I ACTUALLY WANTED TO DO.
So I kinda do the big thing -- in my wimpy non-committed way-- and I say, "Well, if this woman is in any kind of trouble, Lord help her. And I forgive her --yet again!-- for her assholey behavior toward me. I'm sorry, Lord, but that's all I can do at the moment."
So this morning I'm walking around feeling furious cause I'm remembering all the things this woman said that I never challenged, and all the negative things she said. Gonna be spending the entire day attempting to forgive her. And also asking God to free me from all the negative stuff she tosses my way. People DO curse you. . . with their comments about your future and what will happen to you and it's very hard to deal with those types.
New Blog and Website Refresh!
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It's been a very long time since I wrote anything on Disability Blogger.
And that's a bit sad, because I used to write here all the time. I enjoyed
this bl...
2 years ago
9 comments:
This woman is still tossing things your way? STOP allowing it!
You deserve to be treated well, the next time you're around her remind yourself (tell yourself over and over) that you deserve to be treated well, and tell her that you don't appreciate your comment.
If she badgers/insults you, walk away.
A first stop to not feeling like someone's doormat is to not allow yourself to be. Stand up for yourself, speak up! Say how you feel, but not in an angry attacking way, in a honest and heart felt way.
I like the fun colors on your blog - quite lively.
Thanks, Lisa. I think I'm finally getting better at standing up for myself...i think. Thanks for the encouragement!
Yeah, hubby did the blog colors for me, the sweetie! -C
Be sure to tell hubby that others have commented what a lovely job he did on your blog!
Glad to hear that your getting better about standing up for yourself. If you ever falter, remember that there are those of us out here who think highly of you and most deserving of all the best!
if you are a black woman with a big mouth
Does this apply to a white woman with a big mouth?? LOL... just kidding, I don't have a big mouth... well sort of, well, I am trying ummm, to shut it more (gulp) ;)
Seriously, I am not like your friend, or nemesis ;) I would hope I am more sensitive to people.
God has a way of allowing sandpaper people in our lives... even though you haven't seen her for 3 years, He is still using her 'ministry' of sandpapering to refine you.
Perhaps there is a nerve there that He wants to heal in you, and your reaction to her actions have just exposed it? Just a thought...
He wants you free of the bitterness though, but I am sure you know that ;) Funny how He brought it up to you during your prayer time... Isn't He wonderful and caring and beautiful?? Yes, we know He is. I love Him so... All His ways are perfect, right and true.
I love your blog... keep blogging your heart away!!
Hi Amanda:
I definitely think God does sand-papering. But, I don't think all the sand-papering I've received is from God. When you're a quiet person, and you live in the black community, it's hard. Black women in the Black community are notoriously mouthy. If you're shy and keep to yourself, you get slammed or treated badly. And because you don't argue, they think you're weak. Or they think you think it's okay. So this stuff has more to do with me having a very quiet tendency and now having to speak up. Trust me on this...God isn't using this person, never used this person. Unless God cares about me wearing stylish outfits all the time.
Thanks for liking my blog. -C
Sure, I understand... but, at least He uses the circumstances of this person's wrong treatment of you... you are wanting to grow into a place of standing up for yourself. That is probably more what I meant than anything.
It's kinda like my 'whirlwind' theory post. Enemy attack, but you will grow from it.
Sorry if I don't always make sense ;)
I can stand stylish outfits all the time, either, by the way. Actually, I don't own any particularly stylish outfits and wouldn't feel comfortable in them even if I did, lol...
Sure, I understand... but, at least He uses the circumstances of this person's wrong treatment of you... you are wanting to grow into a place of standing up for yourself. That is probably more what I meant than anything.
It's kinda like my 'whirlwind' theory post. Enemy attack, but you will grow from it.
Sorry if I don't always make sense ;)
I can stand stylish outfits all the time, either, by the way. Actually, I don't own any particularly stylish outfits and wouldn't feel comfortable in them even if I did, lol...
Hi Amanda:
Back when hubby and I were getting married, the priest said to us, "This is the best thing I can tell you about marriage. Always assume the other person means you well."
I've used that in all relationships. I assumed you meant well. Always assume I mean well. -C
Good. Assume, I will, always... lol. Same goes with me ;)
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